Address to a Vegetarian Haggis
Composed for the Scottish Croquet Association Burns Supper on 28 January 2006.
Wee brother o' the puddin' king
Whase praises Rabbie Burns did sing,
Relief an' joy tae us ye bring,
That eat nae meat!
For us ye are the verra thing,
A rich rare treat!
Devourers o' the spud an' neep
Whase heart at offal disnae leap,
Whase flesh sheep's stomachs mak tae creep,
Need na be edgy:
For you, nae need tae kill a sheep;
For why? - Ye're veggie!
We see your innards noo revealed
Whaur Scotland's fertile acres yield
Carrots an' onions frae the field,
Mushrooms an' oats!
Wi' richt guid-will the fork we'll wield
An' stuff our throats!
[Fergus's Brain Online]
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