Self portrait of Charles Sutton.
Who is Charles Sutton?
My shoes
Contact information for Charles Sutton
About my hair
Email me!

By Charles Sutton / / January 1, 2006 (but see this footnote)

This home page is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual home pages living or dead is merely consequential. No, no, no. Silly me. I meant to say, " merely coincidental." Not consequential. Inconsequential, in fact, since any such resemblence—ha, ha! the little tricks life plays on us!—must be so obviously coincidental!

This home page is offered on a "AS IS" basis, without any warranty, whether oral or written, express or implied. In no event will Charles be liable for special, incidental or consequential damage resulting from possession, downloading, use or malfunction of this home page, including damage to property, damages for personal injury, and to the extent permitted by law, damages caused by random inadvertent pestilence, even if Charles has been advised of the possibility of such damage. In fact, even if you were to stand next to Charles's bed at eight o'clock in the morning and wake him up with enraged screams of "CHARLES, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT! YOUR HOME PAGE COULD ACT AS A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR TO A MAJOR INTERNATIONAL PESTILENCE!", you still couldn't sue him. Nope, couldn't get a penny out of him. Some states do not allow limitation of pestilential damages so this non-warranty may not apply to you.

Any opinions expressed in this home page are not necessarily the official opinions of the University of Massachusetts, the State of Maryland, the United States of America, Microsoft Corporation, or Murder, She Wrote star Angela Lansbury. If you agree with the opinions expressed in this home page, then they are solely those of the author, especially if you are attractive, female, intelligent, heterosexual, and single. Otherwise, they are those of Baal, King of Darkness.

Oh, and please read my futher legal disclaimer.

Footnote. However, I do not always remember to update the last-modified date when I change something on this page. You are therefore welcome to pretend that it hasn't really been two years since the last time I modified this page. After all, I am.